My daughter has meniere’s disease and so I belong to a meniere’s group. A person in that group is feeling frustrated because she’s not feeling able to spend a lot of time cooking the special diet that helps manage the symptoms. There are easy meals that can accommodate the meniere’s diet, though, and I thought if I posted some of them here, it might help with that feeling of overwhelm she’s experiencing.

Notice that these meals are gluten free, caffeine free, additive free, and very lightly salted if at all.  There are also very few nightshade vegetables in them.

I’ve only posted a few.  I thought I’d post more as time goes by.

Pot Roast and Next Day Stew

Chicken Dinner

Chicken Salad

Stir Fry

Vegetable Beef Soup

Quick Chili

Teri’s Salad Dressing

I wrote this 2 years ago at just about this time of year.  Things have only gotten worse as far as I can see.

Sometimes it feels that I am too old to live in the current climate of hate and violence actually being propagated by Christians.  Jesus didn’t talk about either abortion or homosexuality. He did talk about love. And, yet, someone with whom I’m close said that he had to vote for Trump because he couldn’t abide abortion.  Do we accept the unacceptable in order to block one act? Do we accept the unacceptable to block love? How can we say, “Yes, I am a Christian. I follow Christ” and then say to the gays and lesbians that they have no right to the kind of love the straight people experience?    Jesus was so clear! He said in 1John 4:20-21 “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother or sister, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.”

Jesus also said, in Matthew 7:12 “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”   Does this mean the Conservative Christians wish that a gay person would block his right to marriage? I don’t think so. Does it mean Conservative Christians are ok with having someone else decide what happens with their bodies?  I would hate to live in a society where there was forced abortion after a certain number of children and I’m certain they would too and yet they feel comfortable forcing pregnancy on some. Between 25,000 and 32,000 pregnancies a year are as a result of rape.  Those women didn’t choose the sex and they didn’t choose the resultant pregnancy. Who is anyone to make that choice for them? It’s between the woman, her doctor and her God.

It was Jesus who talked to us about judgment in several passages in my bible.  The best known passage is found in Luke 6:37 and states, “Judge not, and you will not be judged.”  

He backs this up in Matthew 7:3 when he says, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

Are any of the Conservative Christians without sin?   Then, how can they cast so many stones? It was Jesus who said in John 8:7 “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”

And, something else Jesus passed along was that we are not to force others to our own way of thinking.  In Matthew 10:14, he tells us, “If any household or town refuses to welcome you or listen to your message, shake its dust from your feet as you leave.”   He does not tell us to stay and make the household or the town believe what we tell them to believe.

Jesus gave us a job to do.  In Matthew 6:33 He said “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Jesus also said in Matthew 5:16 “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

.And my favorite thing Jesus said is found in John 13: 34-35

A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so also you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.”

By Jesus’ own words I must conclude that if one doesn’t believe abortion is right, one should not have one but one should not make that decision for another.  I also much conclude that if one doesn’t believe God loves those who love others of the same sex, then one mustn’t marry within his own gender, but he must not block others from being allowed to marry.  I must conclude from the words of Jesus that more important than anything else is to love one another and to let that love shine forth so everyone can see it.

I’ve tried to keep my quotes strictly from Christ because I am a Christian, however, Paul defines love in a way that expresses the way I feel about it.   In 1 Corinthians 13, he says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”

I’m looking for the love, the shining light in these people who feel they have to vote for Trump because the are Christians and I am having a very tough time finding it.   I do find an amazing amount of hate and judgement. In fact, what I find when I look at the Conservative Christians who are most vocal is a picture of the Pharisees for whom Jesus had nothing but disdain

Vote!   

We live in a representative democracy.  Do you know what that means? It means that there are really too many of us in these United States to have everyone vote on every single thing the government needs to do.  So, we elect someone to represent our interests. The House of representatives is tasked with all the money management for the US. They are elected every two years. Think about that.  If you don’t like the way the House of Representatives is spending your tax dollars, every two years you have an opportunity to change your representative! But, you can’t help in that endeavor if you don’t vote.  If your current representative isn’t voting on issues to suit you, the ONLY way to change that is to vote. Vote him/her out and vote soemone else in. If you vote, you have power. If you don’t vote, you are powerless.  Consider the following: if everyone votes his/her conscience every single election would your representative to congress be more careful to listen to his/her constituents? I think he/she would! As it stands now, so many people don’t vote that those who are in power just assume they will remain in power and use their own priorities to guide their votes.  They don’t have to listen to their constituents because complain as we will, not all of us will show up on election day to really make our voices heard.

All major presidential appointments must be approved by the Senate.  If your senators are not listening to you, had you considered getting rid of him/her through your vote?  Senators are elected for 6 years but their elections are staggered so that only one third of the Senate changes with each election.  This provides some continuity for the Senate as a whole. What that means for each national election is that every two years we vote on every single Representative and one third of our Senators.  We could completely change our governmental priorities in only one election!

The Government of the United States has divided responsibilities for a reason.  We must have checks and balances so that no one branch of government is too powerful.  In today’s government, we don’t have that. The Supreme Court, the House of Representatives, the Senate and the President all have different job descriptions and in each job description there is a check on the other branches of government.  Together the House of Representatives and the Senate make up the Congress. But, there are even checks and balances between the two houses of the Congress. We make a difference in how our government prioritizes through our vote.

In 2016 nearly 42% of all eligible voters in the United States did NOT vote. From my Facebook page alone, I can see that many of those who didn’t vote do complain.  How is that? Each of those people had a chance to have their voices heard. Each had a chance to determine another course for our government and yet, they stayed home on election day. 

Our governmental representatives are in the process of making it much harder to vote than it used to be.  Our governmental representatives are NOT making prevention of election interference from other countries a priority.  I would suggest that in this political climate each and every single one of us who is eligible to vote must vote in order to make sure that we are allowed to vote in the futures.

What does this blog have to do with the tides of healing?  Think about it. In the past two years there have been two major tax cuts for the rich and only one temporary tax cut for the middle class and poor.  The Affordable Care Act has been shredded and it’s harder and harder to get medical care unless one takes out a second mortgage and where does that leave those who cannot afford to own a home?   And, although the minimum wage at its inception was supposed to be a living wage and was for many years, our Congress in its wisdom has decided the minimum wage will not increase with inflation.  Our congressional representatives are NOT representing the needs or opinions of the middle and poor classes at present and the ONLY way to change that is to change the representatives. Voting is part and parcel of healing because it’s the only way to get a representative government for those of us who need professional help to heal.

I was born with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome which is a genetic connective tissue disorder.  We don’t make enough collagen so our connective tissue is too loose. Doctors used to believe that it only affected our joints where the ligaments and tendons were too floppy to keep our bones where they belonged. Doctors are, now, recognizing that connective tissue is everywhere and Ehlers Danlos affects our organs too.  There are 6 kinds of EDS commonly recognized. I have EDS Hypermobility type or H-EDS. This is the most painful type but not life threatening.

I grew up in the 50’s and 60’s when H-EDS was not recognized.  I began having leg aches when I was about 3. The doctor called them growing pains and when I didn’t grow out of them he decided that my leg aches were caused by fallen arches.  So, began the foot exercises. I picked up marbles with my toes and wore the ugliest, heaviest shoes on the market with built in arch supports. After I grew up and had a bout with sciatica, I realized the pain was exactly the same as that pain I’d had as a child.  Those awful shoes couldn’t have done any good when it was my back causing the problem. All they did was make walking a nightmare.

Each person experiences EDS differently.  There are a whole host of symptoms that one’s doctor asks when diagnosing it but one doesn’t have all of them or may have some that are not on the list.  I had a lot of pain and because H-EDS was not understood, doctors felt frustrated with me. At 4, my mother was told to take me to a counselor for my behavioral problems.  It was thought that I was jealous of my little brothers and trying to garner more attention. In my teens I was told I should see a counselor for my hypochondria. I quit telling people what hurt.  I went about my life dealing with the aches and pains and doing what needed to be done anyway. That’s not all bad. I’m a stronger person who meets her responsibilities no matter what. But, I did end up doing a lot of damage to my body that I wouldn’t have done if I’d known better.  This EDS’r made it through boot camp!

I was told in my mid-twenties that I would not have children.  Some of the internal manifestations of the EDS made it harder to get pregnant and still harder to carry a child to term.  As it turned out, I had two children. The pregnancies were really difficult and I was on bed rest for 3 months with my second one.   Labor and delivery were a breeze though so I just thought I’d been given a gift!

It wasn’t until I was 52 that I was diagnosed.  We had a family orthopedist. Most families don’t need one but we did.  Those children I’d worked so hard to get also had EDS. There is a 50% chance that one with EDS will pass it along to his/her children and I hit the jackpot.  Both of my children inherited. They were just 18 and 20 when they were diagnosed so they didn’t have some of the psychosocial damage that I did. I had always believed their pain was real and I had always looked for real answers.  My daughter was already pregnant when she was diagnosed and true to form, her child was also born with EDS. So, in our home we had four with Ehlers Danlos syndrome. Sometimes, I felt so overwhelmed I could hardly breath. I called our genetic counselor one day when I had found the bottom of my pit of despair.  I was looking for answers or help or a way to make my life just a little easier. The one comment that she made that has stayed with me to this day was, “Teri, I have lots of families with lots of different genetic differences and I’ve got to tell you that the families that I have with EDS are the most pitiful. There really is no help available to you”.    So, I soldiered on. My grandson had already had a collapsed lung at 5 weeks and had begun subluxing his knee at 18 months. My daughter had more trouble with her joints than I had ever had as a young mother and my son had had three knee surgeries and a surgery for a lung that kept collapsing. I, on the other hand, had stuff but not life threatening stuff. I also had the scars from my youth.  Too many doctors telling me that there was nothing really wrong with me and too many family members making comments about Teri, the drama queen had made it almost impossible to “complain effectively” as my son puts it.

I am, now, 66.  My son and his family and my daughter and her family along with my husband an I live in a community.  I can’t see a better way to cope with this insidious condition. Living together makes it possible because when one just can’t anymore the others can pitch in until one can.

I home schooled my kids because along with the EDS my son has Asperger’s Syndrome.  Asperger’s is much more prevalent among EDS’rs. With his physical and psychological needs, the school just couldn’t do it all.  I could though. I could provide the quiet environment and physical relief that he needed in order to learn. Since I was home schooling one, it made sense to home school them both.  I was scared to death to do it. I was frightened that I wouldn’t do it well enough and the kids would suffer because of my deficits. They both ended up in college though and they were both on the Dean’s List.  And, now, many years later, my son is in a very responsible computer career and my daughter was until this week. Working is wrecking my daughter. Many with EDS are on disability because their bodies just won’t allow them to continue working.  My daughter did NOT want that for herself but after 3 brain surgeries and some permanent damage done by the tumor, she’s just not able to continue. This week she applied for disability.

With EDS, one doesn’t look sick or disabled.  With EDS there is pain but it’s not obvious. We all struggle with the fact that our EDS doesn’t show and therefore almost has to be kept as a secret because there are still doctors out there who think it’s all in our heads.  There is also a shaming of those who are “less than” in this society. There is all that talk about lazy people on disability and how they are taking advantage of the system. I can’t for the life of my understand how anyone would actually think that way.  Who would quit a perfectly well paying job to live at poverty level? However, there is that stigma that we with invisible disabilities must find a way to live with. For my daughter, the stigma has become less important that saving her life and for that I applaud her.

There was an article that came out sometime in the last 10 years that indicated that rheumatologists have decided that with H-EDS one’s joints have wear and tear that equals double the age of the person involved.  When I get up in the morning and struggle to the coffee pot, I think to myself, “Not bad for joints that are 132 years old”! I feel better for knowing that the pain that shoots all the way down my leg from my hip and up my back has a right to be there.

For more information on EDS one can visit the Ehlers Danlos Society   Once this disorder was thought to be rare.  As it’s more recognized, the powers that be are finding it’s not as rare as it was once thought to be.